Thank you so much for this piece. I refer to this moment of profound change as 'living in the liminal'; that interstitial space between a before and an after. To me, it's a redefining to lean into and embrace where you shed your ssnake skins that no longer serve you and step into more of who you want to be, without all the bullshit of people pleasing and the rest. You say goodbye to friendships that weigh you down and enter into newer ones that are more aligend to the true you.
Yes! You’ve captured the essence of my musings beautifully, Stephanie. There’s such a release and relief when we let go of the people-pleasing and begin to consciously choose what feels more aligned, even when that sometimes comes with change or a sense of loss. The gain is stepping more into who we truly want to be and inviting in the newer friendships and relationships that meet us where we are now.
Whilst I am a man going through the messy middle, many aspects of what you describe were relatable. The identity that I have worked towards for half a century is no longer feeling right, almost like a jacket with extra long sleeves that make it an ill fit. I related significantly to your call out of this new identity search. well written and so relevant to so many of us Mel.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Ash. I really appreciate your honesty and I think what you’ve described speaks to something deeply human, not limited by gender or stage of life. That image of an identity feeling like a ill-fitting “jacket with extra long sleeves” is such a powerful way to express it.
The ‘messy middle’ can feel disorienting, especially when the version of ourselves we’ve spent decades building no longer feels aligned. I also think there’s something incredibly courageous about recognising that and being willing to question what comes next.
Thank you for reading so thoughtfully and for adding your perspective here. It’s a reminder that this search for identity, meaning, and fit is something many of us are navigating, often more privately than we realise.
Thank you for your kind words, Zoe! It means so much knowing the piece resonated. Midlife can feel deeply misunderstood, so creating language and raising awareness around these experiences is meaningful work to me ❤️
Thank you so much for this piece. I refer to this moment of profound change as 'living in the liminal'; that interstitial space between a before and an after. To me, it's a redefining to lean into and embrace where you shed your ssnake skins that no longer serve you and step into more of who you want to be, without all the bullshit of people pleasing and the rest. You say goodbye to friendships that weigh you down and enter into newer ones that are more aligend to the true you.
Yes! You’ve captured the essence of my musings beautifully, Stephanie. There’s such a release and relief when we let go of the people-pleasing and begin to consciously choose what feels more aligned, even when that sometimes comes with change or a sense of loss. The gain is stepping more into who we truly want to be and inviting in the newer friendships and relationships that meet us where we are now.
You are bringing attention and clarity to such an important and misunderstood phase of life. Your article is very good and appreciated.
Whilst I am a man going through the messy middle, many aspects of what you describe were relatable. The identity that I have worked towards for half a century is no longer feeling right, almost like a jacket with extra long sleeves that make it an ill fit. I related significantly to your call out of this new identity search. well written and so relevant to so many of us Mel.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Ash. I really appreciate your honesty and I think what you’ve described speaks to something deeply human, not limited by gender or stage of life. That image of an identity feeling like a ill-fitting “jacket with extra long sleeves” is such a powerful way to express it.
The ‘messy middle’ can feel disorienting, especially when the version of ourselves we’ve spent decades building no longer feels aligned. I also think there’s something incredibly courageous about recognising that and being willing to question what comes next.
Thank you for reading so thoughtfully and for adding your perspective here. It’s a reminder that this search for identity, meaning, and fit is something many of us are navigating, often more privately than we realise.
Thank you for your kind words, Zoe! It means so much knowing the piece resonated. Midlife can feel deeply misunderstood, so creating language and raising awareness around these experiences is meaningful work to me ❤️